Thursday, 28 February 2013

Heal yourself first

We clean our physical body everyday, purifying our soul is important as well.

When we were a child, we did not have wounds. Everything around us was beautiful and we had great trust in humanity. As we grow older, we are left with some scars here and there. Some call those scars experience but to me, true experience is the wounds that we have healed, not the experience that warns you not to trust again, not to believe in love or the world again. 'Older and wiser' does not mean not doing it nor you become more clever as to how to win in the game. 'Older and wiser' means that you still have trust and faith in love or your own beliefs even though you have been hurt before. 'Older and wiser' means that we do not let the past experience influence our own judgement when similar situation rises.  'Older and wiser' means that when you face the same problems again and you make efforts to solve those problems in a fair ground at the same time try to avoid making the same mistakes again. 'Older and wiser' means we have healed from the wounds and become fresh/light again.

In a love relationship, it's very important that both parties have healed from their previous relationships before entering into a new one. If one of the parties or both parties carry their wounds into a new relationship. The relationship will have negative elements such as anger, jealousy, frustration, disappointment, mistrust etc. I have heard people saying that in the last relationship, they had been hurt, this time, they are not going to go that deep in love. They would rather let their love flowing on the surface and they remain careful with the new partner. But is it love? Can we really make a real connection with someone if we shut our heart in a cage? Love is abour trusting and exchanging of heart of both parties. If love cannot float between the two, it's very difficult to make connection and have rea understanding of partner.

In the case of both parties have not healed their wounds and  enter a relationship, blaming and feeling insecure are the products. Some people seek healing and enter a relationship with the one who has healed. Troubles will rise as well because the one who has healed need to reassure and prove again and again to the one who has not healed. Love is about balancing the love energy. The one who always reassure and prove will end up getting drained because the one who has not healed has nothing(no love) to offer because they are careful with their heart.

So, before entering a new relationship. First we need to heal ourselves. Forgiveness is the main element. We have to forgive the partner who has hurt us. We have to forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We have to understand that things happen the way they are meant to happen and blaming others or yourself is not the solution. We have to see the lessons after things end and see what you need to do to learn the lessons. We also need some time alone and not jumping into a new relationship right away to get healing from others. Maybe the lesson is to understand that you are fine even when you are alone. You are fine and do not need others to complete you. Once you understand that, you will not seek things/expect others to complete you. When two lacks are together, it will only form a hole. When two people who are content with themselves alone and be together, their relationship will be full of love and be able to share love with people around them. Only people who are happy with themsleves first will they be happy with their partners.So heal yourself first!

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Love with your heart, not your head

Feel the love by heart for love cannot be measured by the head.

One of the wonderful things of having a soulmate connection is that you can communicate with your soulmate telepathically; one of the worst things of having a soulmate connection is that sometimes you pick up something you might not want to hear from your soulmate or you feel their emotions and take them as your own and that make you confused with your own emotions.

The other day I was surfing the internet and suddenly I heard a voice saying 'She has stopped writing me emails, she doesnt love me anymore.' Immediately I had a feeling that this was sent by my soulmate. I reached for the calendar at once wanting to find out why I would get this message on that date. I looked at the calendar and guess what, it was the date that we met for the last time right after his father's funeral. I guess when he remembered his father, he remembered that was also the date we last saw each other. I was shocked because it's him who cut off contact in the first place and it's not true that I feel nothing for him  anymore. For me, sending emails is not an act of showing someone love anymore. Afterwards I was a bit down because my soulmate is still using his head to measure or get reassurance of love, he is still in his insecure mode and need people to prove love to him. That was what I did before and this time I am not going to prove love anymore for love cannot be proven, love can only be felt by heart. I am determined to break off the unhealthy cycle I was in with him.

When it comes to love, one cannot measure love, one can only feel love by heart. If someone does things out of love for you, you are bound to feel it. If someone does something out of bad intentions, you can feel it too. Sometimes what we see is not what we get. Love cannot be measured, love can only be felt by heart. So we need to stop asking our partner whether he/she loves us or not, feel it and you will know. It's more efficient to feel than to ask because at times people say things against their own will/heart.

Sometimes people choose their partner by looking at their background or outlooks. If they match with their own background or outlook, then they think that would be a good match for them even though their own heart is screaming no. When it comes to love, we have to look beyond the material world/physical world for love does not belong to the material world, love comes from a higher place. Love belongs to the place where there is no time nor limits, the place where things never die and therefore love never dies.

So when it comes to love, dear readers. Feel it by heart, give up measuring love by the analytical brain for love cannot be seen, love can only be felt.

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

More than one soulmate

The one who stays with you in the end is your perfect match made in Heaven!

When we think about soulmate we usually think that soulmate is the one and only that fits perfectly into our life and the one who is meant to be with us forever. In fact, we have more than one soulmate. Soulmate can be your friend, family member, teacher, colleague, and lover. Soulmates are those whom we spent our previous lives with and chose to incarnate in this life with us and bring lessons to us. Soulmate encounter is about learning lessons together because soulmates know when and how to push our buttons.

Usually there are signs to let you know whether one you have met is your soulmate or not. Today I am able to pinpoint the soulmates I have met in previous lives and enter my life in this life time. Whenever I meet a soulmate, the name of a writer Oscar Wilde is present. Sometimes we mention Wilde in our conversation, sometimes his works are discussed, sometimes we found out that we both love Wilde's works, and sometimes Wilde's book just happened to be at the cafe that we were at. And later, we found out more common interests and the conversations just kept going on and on.

So meeting a soulmate does not mean having a boy/girl relationship. Soulmates come to our life to inspire us, to teach us lessons and to help us to grow. There is always a strong bond between you two no matter where you are. It's not uncommon for soulmates to fall in love with each other. If that happens, that is a good thing and wonderful thing. But times one is ready and the other is not or both are not ready. That is the most challenging case for soulmates. When this situation occurs, both need to go their own ways to get rid of their junks and to meet new people in order to learn because if they are together, the unbalanced energy can be distructive. Soulmates' actions mirror each other and it brings conflicts to the self.

If one has reached another level in soul development and the other has not, dont worry, dear reader for the universe/God is always kind enough to send another soulmate to walk the path with us after we have completed part of our lessons. So if we have lost a soulmate or being turned down by a soulmate because of fear of the soulmate, dont despair, we will meet another one later in life. Soulmate might not enter our life right after one's soulmate left but it's all worth the wait. So please dont be in a relationship with anyone for the sake of being in a relationship. Heal yourself first. If we need another person to help us heal, that's not healing, that's dependency which can be dangerous.

We have more than one soulmate indeed. Soulmates play different roles in our life. They can be teachers, family members, colleagues, and friends. One always has at least one soulmate in their life---usually more than one. When your lover is your soulmate, cherish this relationship for it's more challenging and not everyone can recognise a soulmate element in a relationship.

Friday, 1 February 2013

Learning to let go

Letting go of the pearl from the sea is more beautiful than owning it.

Sometimes after doing all we can to maintain a relationship without success or after knowing that you need to separate with your soulmate in order to let each other to learn lessons, it's time to let go. Letting go does not mean we stop caring. Letting go simply mean that you let your soulmate to choose what they want and to choose to learn lessons on their own terms without them following your own rules or your own schedule.

Like the time we encounter the pearl from the sea, we know that the pearl belongs to the sea. It's the pearl's nature to live in the sea. If we take it away from the sea and try to own it, it will not survive. It's not good for the pearl. So we put it back to the sea and let it shine. It does not mean we dont love it anymore. It simply means that we do what is best for the pearl. Loving someone is more or less the same thing. We know that our soulmate has his/her own lessons, we have to let them go/give them freedom to swim in the sea of people in order to learn lessons. We have to let them go in order to let them shine. If one day they choose to come back, it's a bonus. Letting go is one of the highest forms of love. To let go does not mean we are helpless in a situation so we are forced to let go. To let go means that we love unconditionally so we do what is best for our soulmate.

Yes, it's very difficult to let go because we are so used to being with our soulmate. It's because our soulmate shows us what it feels like to be in heaven. But do know that, dear, heaven is within yourself. It's just that our soulmate brings it out in us. We do not own our soulmate. We own happiness for happiness is within ourselves. Letting go is difficult especially when our soulmate leave us without any explanations as to why they have to leave. Our mind just keeps thinking of the 'WHY'. Have I done something wrong? Well, yes or no. Sometimes your soulmate's issues are highlighted by the encounter of you and they cannot handle it, so they have to take a break and learn the lessons. Whether they will come back or not, part of it lies in their hand and part of it lies in the hand of fate. If it's fated, then sure they will come back but whether you two decide to be together or not. It's entirely up to you two. Lady Fate does not force two people to be together. She simply wants you to overcome your issues by bring two people together for a period of time. Of course rewards might come later if you put efforts to work on your issues.

Before we work on our issues, we have to let go and then stop asking the 'WHY'. If you keep asking the 'WHY', it will only stop you from working on your issues. After working on your issues, the 'WHY' is not important anymore. Instead, you will feel grateful that you have met your soulmate and that the meeting in itself is more beautiful than the union. You know that no matter where you are, whether you are with him or not, you love him/her dearly. Loving someone is simple. It does not require the other person to be with you to feel the love. Love is in the universe. To love without owning is the essence of life.

What you have with your soulmate is as precious as the pearl from the sea. Let go of the pearl and let it shine in the sea for pearl belongs to the sea. Let go of your love with your soulmate and send this love to the universe, for the universe needs the unconditional love between you and your soulmate.